I will always come back for you.

Finn has been to daycare every day so far this week.

I started a part-time job on Monday; I'm only going to be working 2 or 3 days a week.  And, realistically, if I work on Thursdays, which is usually Uriah's day off, that means that Finn will only be at daycare 1 or 2 days a week.  Don't misunderstand, I love staying home with my boy, and for the most part, I will still get the majority of his time during the week.  I will still be the one who gets him up in the morning and I will still be there every night when he goes to sleep (those were the rules for me to be able to take a job - I needed to be there for those important times of the day.).  I feel, though, that Finn needs some interaction with other kids his age, and I know that I need some interaction with adults (I sing Elmo's World, I have a hankering for apple juice and sometimes, I get crabby if I don't get a nap in the afternoon.).  However, he's got some major separation anxiety going on and it has given me my own anxiety leaving him in the morning.

On Monday, I put him down to play with some toys - and a very curious little girl crawled up and wanted to play with the handsome new boy - and when he wasn't looking (and before I could loose my nerve), I sneaked out the door.  But I heard him cry before the door closed completely and I had to force myself to take a deep breath and walk away.  And then I proceeded to count down the hours while we were apart.  He didn't look like he quite believed what he was seeing when I walked in to pick him up that evening, but he had a death grip on my neck as we walked out to the car.

I took him on a bike ride when we got home...dinner could, and would, wait.  We biked until I couldn't think, until the only thing I could concentrate on was pedaling and moving forward and the only thing I could hear was the sweet little chatter behind me.

And when I tucked him in that first night, so tired from a big day of making new friends that he barely made it through bed time stories, I reminded him that no matter what, I will always come back for him.