Lost-ish

You know, I really did want to talk about breakfast.  I like breakfast, I do (as long is it's considered brunch and it's eaten at about eleven in the morning and there are Bloody Marys involved.), it gets the day started off on the right foot.  But here's the thing, I'm not going to talk about breakfast today.  Maybe tomorrow, but today I'm going to talk about something else, like how to blog when you've got a tween daughter who is probably more internet-savvy than her parents.

See, here's the thing: Middle school girls are not very nice.  They're not nice to their teachers.  They're not nice to their siblings.  They're not nice to their parents.  And they certainly are not nice to each other.  Why is that?  I'm not sure...and I'm pretty sure that trying to figure it out is like beating your head against a brick wall, completely unproductive and also, it hurts.  But middle school girls will take whatever they can to use against other middle school girls.  It's mean and hurtful and totally idiotic.  And yet the hot talk from elementary to high school is anti-bullying this and anti-bullying that - there are plays and lectures and posters plastered on every damn wall, but really, those girls bully the braids and bows right out of each other.

On this blog, I'm very careful about what I write about Abby.  She doesn't get much air time these days because it was brought to my attention that her friends read this blog.  And that pretty much sucks for me, because parenting is hard, and this just in: step-parenting is hard times ten.  I search the world wide interwebs a lot to see how other blended families get their shit together and whether or not it's always going to be this hard and maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel less like I'm the only one when I find someone who's situation mimics mine or who's had a similar step-parenting struggle because my husband is not a step-parent, so he doesn't always get it and my parents are celebrating their 3 millionth wedding anniversary this summer, so they don't always get it.  Sometimes I just have to find stuff out on my own, feel okay about my choices, and move on with my life.  And, honestly?  I find that families that are not blended also have the same struggles that I do.  Parenting is kind of universal in that way.

There are lots of things that I don't write about here, although I often think that maybe our story, our situation, our blended-family parenting styles might help someone else (statistics suggest that in 2010, blended families were the predominant family form in the US.).  There are lots of things that I'd like to write about here, but I hold back a little bit, because most of it isn't rainbows and unicorns and I'm not sure that even if I wanted to share some of that stuff that you would want to read it.  But here is the crux of the matter: regardless of whether I do or don't post about Abby; regardless of whether I have pictures of Finn's sweetness or a recipe or a frank discussion about loosing weight and getting healthy, for some reason, some middle school girls think that it's acceptable to post comments completely unrelated to anything on this blog - as though they think that they'll get Abby in trouble or whatever goes on in the minds of 12 year olds.  And while I can dismantle the comment button, I don't feel that I should have to: the comments that I get (from adults) I appreciate.  I love getting feedback!  Every comment you've ever left me has made my day.

But tonight I'm lost-ish.  I do love my blog.  I love to write - this is the most writing that I've done since college (I don't post something every single day, but I do write every single day.).   I love to take pictures and I love to share bits of our crazy, mixed up life with you.  But I'm not sure at this point if I'm going to keep going; I really don't want to have to play my censor card just because I think some nosy little girls are going to be lurking on a blog of which they are clearly not part of the intended audience.

I'm not sure what to do.  If you have a thought to share (and you're able to vote in the next presidential election) I'd love to hear it.  (Your comment probably won't show up right away; don't worry, I set it up that way so that I can verify you're voter registration card.)