These are the things they don't tell you...

Let me preface this by announcing that I am extremely jealous of all of the women who tell me that pregnancy was the best they'd ever felt in their lives, that they glowed the entire 9 months and it was a magical and glorious and giving birth was equally as wonderful, magical, glorious.

I. Hate. These. Women.

So, since I'm not going to give birth to a teeny tiny angel baby made of cotton and marshmallow fluff, here's what I've found out:

1. My feet grew. Shoes that I thought I'd be able to wear for at least the first few months (read: cute red heels) do not fit, nor will they be comfortable if I squish my fat feet into them. I wear flip-flops.
   
2. My skin is so dry. And it itches and no amount of lotion will help. Maybe a lotion bath...
3. My eyes are dry. After about 3 hours in contacts I feel the urge to tear my eyes out of my head.
   
4. Food does not taste good. I let Uriah make dinner and not tell me what he's making because if it sounds good one minute, no doubt I'll want something else by the time I get home.
   
5. I sneeze. A lot. And randomly.
6. My back hurts for no apparent reason - well there is a reason (small human being growing), but sometimes it takes my breath away. A couple of times when Uriah has rubbed it, it hurt worse, bit I will not tell him that or he may never rub my back again. I just thank him for his time, then went down the hall to quietly weep.
7. I am so tired. Bone weary and achingly tired. And I wake up tired. My eye lids are be tired. So is my hair and my elbow and my little toe. Everything is tired.
   
8. I have dreamed very weird and vivid dreams and I feel like they probably have some sort of meaning - water dreams signify the baby floating around and all that New Age hokey. I have decided to disregard any dreams about old boyfriends or the sex of your baby. Neither means anything...especially since I've dreamed that the baby is both a boy and a girl (and once even twins). I am not having twins and I would like either a boy or a girl.
   
9. Obviously I have gained weight. I have very good intentions of going to the gym to fight the flab, bit since I'm so dang tired, it's hit or miss. Usually miss.
   
10. I crave fruit. However, going to the grocery store is like a drunk going into a bar. Last week I turned in slow circles in the produce section as I was being assaulted by the most wonderful smells and was not quite sure where to start. I wanted one of everything, but bringing home an entire pineapple would probably be a waste.
    
11. I have had some of the worst headaches. Allegedly this is from the influx of blood in my bod. I've tried to work through the pain, but I'm a pansy, and I really just wish I could take a bunch of aleve and snooze it away. Not acceptable to drug the baby, though, so I consider it pre-training for giving birth. I've heard that hurts a hell of a lot worse.

I've gotten some good advice, though...like, enjoy the quiet moments imagining what the baby will look like and act like and think and say and do; sleep when I can; buy diapers in bulk; eat bananas for cramps; borrow whatever I can from friends and family who already have kids. Mostly, though, people love to tel me that I will forget all the hard and painful aspects of pregnancy (and childbirth) when I meet my mini-me for the first time. I'm trying to write things down, though, because I don't want to forget anything about this time. In spite of the headaches and the body aches and the lack of interest in food...this is the most exciting and amazing thing I think I've ever done in my whole entire life.

Let me preface this by announcing that I am extremely jealous of all of the women who tell me that pregnancy was the best they'd ever felt in their lives, that they glowed the entire 9 months and it was a magical and glorious and giving birth was equally as wonderful, magical, glorious.

I. Hate. These. Women.

So, since I'm not going to give birth to a teeny tiny angel baby made of cotton and marshmallow fluff, here's what I've found out:

1. My feet grew. Shoes that I thought I'd be able to wear for at least the first few months (read: cute red heels) do not fit, nor will they be comfortable if I squish my fat feet into them. I wear flip-flops.
   
2. My skin is so dry. And it itches and no amount of lotion will help. Maybe a lotion bath...
3. My eyes are dry. After about 3 hours in contacts I feel the urge to tear my eyes out of my head.
   
4. Food does not taste good. I let Uriah make dinner and not tell me what he's making because if it sounds good one minute, no doubt I'll want something else by the time I get home.
   
5. I sneeze. A lot. And randomly.
6. My back hurts for no apparent reason - well there is a reason (small human being growing), but sometimes it takes my breath away. A couple of times when Uriah has rubbed it, it hurt worse, bit I will not tell him that or he may never rub my back again. I just thank him for his time, then went down the hall to quietly weep.
7. I am so tired. Bone weary and achingly tired. And I wake up tired. My eye lids are be tired. So is my hair and my elbow and my little toe. Everything is tired.
   
8. I have dreamed very weird and vivid dreams and I feel like they probably have some sort of meaning - water dreams signify the baby floating around and all that New Age hokey. I have decided to disregard any dreams about old boyfriends or the sex of your baby. Neither means anything...especially since I've dreamed that the baby is both a boy and a girl (and once even twins). I am not having twins and I would like either a boy or a girl.
   
9. Obviously I have gained weight. I have very good intentions of going to the gym to fight the flab, bit since I'm so dang tired, it's hit or miss. Usually miss.
   
10. I crave fruit. However, going to the grocery store is like a drunk going into a bar. Last week I turned in slow circles in the produce section as I was being assaulted by the most wonderful smells and was not quite sure where to start. I wanted one of everything, but bringing home an entire pineapple would probably be a waste.
    
11. I have had some of the worst headaches. Allegedly this is from the influx of blood in my bod. I've tried to work through the pain, but I'm a pansy, and I really just wish I could take a bunch of aleve and snooze it away. Not acceptable to drug the baby, though, so I consider it pre-training for giving birth. I've heard that hurts a hell of a lot worse.

I've gotten some good advice, though...like, enjoy the quiet moments imagining what the baby will look like and act like and think and say and do; sleep when I can; buy diapers in bulk; eat bananas for cramps; borrow whatever I can from friends and family who already have kids. Mostly, though, people love to tel me that I will forget all the hard and painful aspects of pregnancy (and childbirth) when I meet my mini-me for the first time. I'm trying to write things down, though, because I don't want to forget anything about this time. In spite of the headaches and the body aches and the lack of interest in food...this is the most exciting and amazing thing I think I've ever done in my whole entire life.

Frenchy Food and Wedding Invitations

I sometimes consider myself a genius in the kitchen. Mostly because I can follow a recipe, but also because I have an ability to see a recipe and decide on the spot if the ingredients are going to come together and be something good. Now, that is not to say that I haven't made some mistakes in the past...but I can't think of one right now.

Last night was good. Amazing good. Simple good. Damn good.

I found a recipe on-line (Tastykitchen.com) for Lemon Olive Oil Tuna Pasta*, and I thought to myself, "Well, that looks kind of light and Frenchy." The ingredients reminded me of an easy meal I had when I spent a couple of weeks in France and Spain. Combined with a light spinach salad with a lemon, tarragon, and olive oil salad dressing and a glass of crisp white wine, I felt like I was in European Heaven last night. Next time I'm going to eat in on the patio and add some crusty French bread to the mix (which I will make myself).

All of the invitations have been mailed...kind of a debacle. Had to get inserts with directions and hotel info printed and needed a little extra help from U. We opted to hand write the envelopes, so he wrote our return address and I addressed them to the guests. It took a whole evening. And then my tongue almost fell off from licking and sticking the envelopes, but I graciously handed the whole stack to the mailman on Tuesday and now it's just a waiting game to see who's going to be coming to the big soiree. I'm getting ridiculously excited. I can't wait to get the mail, bills be damned!


*Found a low-carb pasta so that's what I used for this dinner. My little family doesn't even notice the difference.

I sometimes consider myself a genius in the kitchen. Mostly because I can follow a recipe, but also because I have an ability to see a recipe and decide on the spot if the ingredients are going to come together and be something good. Now, that is not to say that I haven't made some mistakes in the past...but I can't think of one right now.

Last night was good. Amazing good. Simple good. Damn good.

I found a recipe on-line (Tastykitchen.com) for Lemon Olive Oil Tuna Pasta*, and I thought to myself, "Well, that looks kind of light and Frenchy." The ingredients reminded me of an easy meal I had when I spent a couple of weeks in France and Spain. Combined with a light spinach salad with a lemon, tarragon, and olive oil salad dressing and a glass of crisp white wine, I felt like I was in European Heaven last night. Next time I'm going to eat in on the patio and add some crusty French bread to the mix (which I will make myself).

All of the invitations have been mailed...kind of a debacle. Had to get inserts with directions and hotel info printed and needed a little extra help from U. We opted to hand write the envelopes, so he wrote our return address and I addressed them to the guests. It took a whole evening. And then my tongue almost fell off from licking and sticking the envelopes, but I graciously handed the whole stack to the mailman on Tuesday and now it's just a waiting game to see who's going to be coming to the big soiree. I'm getting ridiculously excited. I can't wait to get the mail, bills be damned!


*Found a low-carb pasta so that's what I used for this dinner. My little family doesn't even notice the difference.